Graduated

So yesterday I graduated from the University of Paisley with a MSc in waste management with environmental management.

The ceremony was short and graceful as these things go (this is my third time at being a victim, so I have some experience of it). It was in the Thomas Coates Memorial Church, which is a beautiful example of late Victorian / Edwardian architecture. The faculty processed in and the chancellor gave an introductory speech (which unfortunately could have been used for bullshit bingo). Then it was immediately on to awarding the degrees; no celebrities or honoraries or anything. The awards were unrushed but all the same we were done within an hour of the ceremony starting. Then the faculty processed out and the new graduates processed behind them.

After that there was a reception for the science faculty. My mother had come to the ceremony as my guest and so I was able to introduce her to Jennifer, my degree supervisor, who not only helped me through getting this thing done but also got me the job I now have, and is an amazing woman altogether.

Then back to my place to change out of my kilt, and to have a glass of wine and some nibbles before meeting my brother on Ashton lane for a drink and going on to the Baby Grand for dinner with him and my mother. My brother gave me a Waterman pen, which is absolutely gorgeous, and my mother gave me a cross-stitched cartoon of a cat throwing a mortar-board in the air.

Then, because Mum was nervous about taking the train home late in the evening, I escorted her back to Greenock and stayed there overnight.

So that's it, my degree's done and I've got the qualification. This has been quite an achievement since I blew my PhD and I've had a confidence block ever since. Maybe I'll try for my PhD some time in the future, but it'll not be soon and it'll have to be on something like planetology or astrophysics or something that I can get into studying for enjoyment.

Apologies to my dear readers

I haven't been posting lately, partly because I've been really busy at work, and partly because I haven't been ujp to much, but mainly because BT are being swines about a late-paid bill, and the cascading penalty charges have got to £450 for a £20 phone and broadband bill that was a month late.

So my broadband is cut off and I really only have good internet access at work. Happily my next-door neighbours are allowing me to piggy-back on their wireless, so I can do this, but email is not likely to get checked very often, so if you are emailing me, give me a nudge here to go looking for it.

Hormones!

Today I want for my third counselling session. This time I went as Elaine, with flared jeans, high heels, a pretty top, eye makeup, lipstick and a wig. The doctor's comment was that I seemed very comfortable, that I looked good, and that he was very pleased with my progress, as was the psychiatrist that I had seen a couple of months ago. I've lost nearly a stone in weight over the last three months, and I've been getting rid of issues that have stressed me one by one, so he agreed to the next step, which will be to start on hormones.

This will be a major step, but again, one that is reversible to an extent. I'm looking forward to it. I don't know if I'll ever transition fully, because my need to be a woman isn't so strong that I could give up my family or cause the upset that it would be guaranteed to, but I want to reshape my body to be more feminine. As well as having breasts and hips, I want to reduce my belly (diet and exercise) and the breadth of my chest and shoulders. That last is a lot harder to do, but aerobic exercise, along with the reduction in testosterone that I'll be experiencing, should go some way towards it.

My goal at the moment will be to reduce my masculine aspects and increase my feminine aspects, so that I can be a woman when I'm dressed as a woman and a man when I'm dressed as a man. If it comes about in a couple of years that I'm more settled as a woman than as a man, then I'll consider transition.

An interesting point was that my blood pressure, in a situation where I might be expected to be nervous, dressed as a woman for the first time in the counselling session, was much lower than it normally is, 115/80 where I'm usually about 140/90. I really am less stressed as Elaine.