Hormones!

[mschatelaine]

Today I want for my third counselling session. This time I went as Elaine, with flared jeans, high heels, a pretty top, eye makeup, lipstick and a wig. The doctor's comment was that I seemed very comfortable, that I looked good, and that he was very pleased with my progress, as was the psychiatrist that I had seen a couple of months ago. I've lost nearly a stone in weight over the last three months, and I've been getting rid of issues that have stressed me one by one, so he agreed to the next step, which will be to start on hormones.

This will be a major step, but again, one that is reversible to an extent. I'm looking forward to it. I don't know if I'll ever transition fully, because my need to be a woman isn't so strong that I could give up my family or cause the upset that it would be guaranteed to, but I want to reshape my body to be more feminine. As well as having breasts and hips, I want to reduce my belly (diet and exercise) and the breadth of my chest and shoulders. That last is a lot harder to do, but aerobic exercise, along with the reduction in testosterone that I'll be experiencing, should go some way towards it.

My goal at the moment will be to reduce my masculine aspects and increase my feminine aspects, so that I can be a woman when I'm dressed as a woman and a man when I'm dressed as a man. If it comes about in a couple of years that I'm more settled as a woman than as a man, then I'll consider transition.

An interesting point was that my blood pressure, in a situation where I might be expected to be nervous, dressed as a woman for the first time in the counselling session, was much lower than it normally is, 115/80 where I'm usually about 140/90. I really am less stressed as Elaine.

Comments

[hobbitblue.livejournal.com]

That's excellent news, good luck with the hormones

[ms-chatelaine.livejournal.com]

Thanks

[carl-allery.livejournal.com]

Sounds like both the Doctor and psychiatrist are being supportive - that's great. Excellent news about the hormones as well. Good to hear that things are progressing and also that you're so obviously comfortable. :)

[ms-chatelaine.livejournal.com]

Cheers. Going out of the house as Elaine is still an expedition and takes nerve, but that is usually how I am now around the house.

Part of what made the doctor agree, I think, was how I was dressed and how I looked. My makeup was very understated and I was dressed quite smartly. The time I went to the support group, I saw looks ranging from the way I was to one who was easily sixty but dressed like a fifteen-year-old dollybird, and I guess that what they are looking for is a desire to be female or at least feminine, and not a fetish, when they agree to medical treatments.

[fjm.livejournal.com]

I really am less stressed as Elaine.

I've seen this in someone else close to me. I'm looking forward to seeing it in you.

[ms-chatelaine.livejournal.com]

We'll certainly have to meet up soon. I'm afraid that I won't make it to your party although I'd love to, but the price of crash space is through the roof already and all the reasonable hotels are booked solid for the getting-drunk season.

I'll definitely be at Eastercon (Hal Duncan and Neil Williamson are among my supportive friends up here) but I expect that you'll be busy for the short time you're there. New developments at work mean that I'll be in the Smoke a lot in the new year and there will be plenty of chances to meet.

[fjm.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately I won't be at Eastercon until monday.

There is a <a href="http://www.iafa.org>clash</a>. Needless to say, I'm not happy about this.

[ms-chatelaine.livejournal.com]

"...busy for the short time you're there," yes, I knew about the clash, and that you'll need to be having meetings on the Monday. I'm actually thinking of taking the week off after Eastercon and maybe staying in London, because my main holiday next year will be the fortnight running up to World Fantasy and I'd quite like to have a break between Chickenmanay and November.

But also, as I say, work will be taking a turn for the better-paid but crazily-more-busy starting in January and I'll be up and down a lot, so I'll let you know when I'm around.

[fjm.livejournal.com]

Then we should be able to meet up, as it's still vacation for me (trans. I'll be in the British Library).

[tanngrisnir.livejournal.com]

I am glad you are finding the doctor & psychiatrist so supportive. I am not at all surprised you are less stressed as Elaine. Whom I must meet sometime. :)