mschatelaine: (Default)
[personal profile] mschatelaine
... and anyone who's ever been waxed is now saying ... What?!?

And I'd prefer that the stripping of hair from my body would not be necessary and I accept that it's incredibly painful.

But I end up free of hair. And it really makes a difference when you put on a pair of tights. And the shaving the chest thing, well really.

And here's the thing, I'm going in for this painful procedure that I'll have to get done next month and the month after that and the month after that. And I'll hopefully have tea with my friends after. Because I want femininity. I would be happiest being female.

But I don't have the courage to take it.

Between the above and now has been quite a while. it's nearly morning. I don't know what I want from being female and I don't know what kind of female I want to be but I'm sure that I want to be female.

I've just spent the last few hours rehearsing the scene where I tell my parents I haven't ever been comfortable as a male and I'm changing sex. And one of the things I have just realised is that the only person in my visualisations is myself. I'm making up my objections.

I'm still terrified. I'm going to tell them. I won't handle it well and neither will they, but I've got to. It's one of those things, I've made the decision that it's going to happen. I'll be really fucked up until I do, so it's going to have to be as soon as possible.

I'm getting over being very drunk, but I just scrawled 'Going to be a Woman' on my mirror in lipstick and took a photo of it. It's getting on for morning.

Date: 2009-03-14 08:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Will be thinking of you.

You might want to consider electrolysis in part as a way of thinking "this is permanent".

Date: 2009-03-14 11:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thank you.

I've definitely been thinking about electrolysis for my face. It's expensive and you need to go back about ten times before the area is completely clear, but as far as I know that and lasering are the only permanent solutions.

Later in the year - I'm saving my pennies for Montreal right now.

Date: 2009-03-14 09:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Good luck. *hugs*

Date: 2009-03-14 11:13 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-03-14 10:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Good on you gal. I think I at least am well enough to come for tea this afternoon. You think you can handle your first knitting lesson too? ;)

Date: 2009-03-14 11:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I too seem to have survived last night :o) Tea will be perfect later.

Date: 2009-03-14 11:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm Somewhat hung over and tired from staying up most of the night but I will be chipper by four o'clock. Tea and knitting sounds just fine.

Date: 2009-03-14 12:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Let us know when then.

Date: 2009-03-14 03:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Hugs to you. Sending you good thoughts.

Date: 2009-03-15 11:32 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-03-15 06:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

As discussed, definately worth a look ;o)

Date: 2009-03-15 08:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Lovely. The sun dresses are really pretty.


mschatelaine: (Default)

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